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The Guru

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The Guru

Postby Strange » Sun Jul 18, 2010 8:57 pm

I am bringing this back from the old forums...Ask me a question, and I will share with you my wisdom. :ugeek:
"If the world seems cold to you, kindle fires to warm it."

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Re: The Guru

Postby Andrea » Sun Jul 18, 2010 9:00 pm

Ah yes, I forgot about this!

Don't forget: :meditate:
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Re: The Guru

Postby Strange » Sun Jul 18, 2010 9:01 pm

I couldn't find it...

*looks again*

:meditate:

Much better!
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Re: The Guru

Postby Andrea » Sun Jul 18, 2010 10:46 pm

What color is the number 8?
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Re: The Guru

Postby Strange » Sun Jul 18, 2010 11:41 pm

The color of number 8 is Q.

Unless you're talking Roulette, in which case it's black. :meditate:
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Re: The Guru

Postby Andrea » Sun Jul 18, 2010 11:44 pm

Thanks guru sensei.

Where did I leave my brain?
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Re: The Guru

Postby Strange » Mon Jul 19, 2010 12:00 am

You are quite welcome.

Your brain was left in a urinal at a small town gas station off I95. :meditate:
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Re: The Guru

Postby Andrea » Mon Jul 19, 2010 12:04 am

ew, I don't want it anymore.

What do clouds taste like?
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Re: The Guru

Postby Chukkz » Mon Jul 19, 2010 1:06 am

...and do they make you put on weight?
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Re: The Guru

Postby Strange » Mon Jul 19, 2010 4:19 am

Depends on the cloud...

Altocumulus: sour apple
Altostratus: whiskey sour
Cirrocumulus: candy apple
Cirrostratus: sweet wine
Cirrus: honey
Cumulonimbus: apple pie
Cumulus: honeycrisp apple
Stratocumulus: sour apple pucker (liquor)
Nimbostratus: cherry pie liquor
Stratus: Spree candy

And no, you will not put on weight. Also, there are alcohol-free alternatives for those that cannot drink. :meditate:
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Re: The Guru

Postby Bri » Mon Jul 19, 2010 5:17 am

Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 and hot dog buns come in packages of 8?
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Re: The Guru

Postby Strange » Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:51 pm

It's a conspiracy against people with OCD so they boost sales by buying more to make the buns and hotdogs even out...

And my dad requested it. He doesn't eat his dogs with buns, so why waste? :meditate:
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Re: The Guru

Postby Andrea » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:34 pm

What makes the "crazy bread" so crazy?
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Re: The Guru

Postby Strange » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:44 pm

The laughter of midgets. :meditate:
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Re: The Guru

Postby Chukkz » Mon Jul 19, 2010 11:54 pm

Why can only some animals in Disney shows speak and use tools while others seem not capable of using technology at all?
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Re: The Guru

Postby Andrea » Mon Jul 19, 2010 11:57 pm

Oh! Good question!

Why does my dog bark in Spanish?
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Re: The Guru

Postby Strange » Tue Jul 20, 2010 11:48 am

The ones that can't speak or use tools actually can. They are spies pretending they are much slower than they are until they can take over the world.

And Andrea, your dog barks in Spanish because he's a pimp. :meditate:
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Re: The Guru

Postby Andrea » Tue Jul 20, 2010 2:41 pm

Hmm, mexican and japanese pimp. :D
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Re: The Guru

Postby Strange » Tue Jul 20, 2010 4:03 pm

Exactly.
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Re: The Guru

Postby Chukkz » Wed Jul 21, 2010 5:23 am

Why do we as kids when we have full hearing turn up the volume on full when listening to music but as old people when we are deaf complain about the noise?
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Re: The Guru

Postby Strange » Wed Jul 21, 2010 6:23 am

Because old people are jerkfaces. :meditate:
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Re: The Guru

Postby Chukkz » Wed Jul 21, 2010 6:58 am

Ofcourse.
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Re: The Guru

Postby Andrea » Wed Jul 21, 2010 10:04 am

Why does money not grow on trees?
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Re: The Guru

Postby Strange » Wed Jul 21, 2010 8:40 pm

Because money is a root fruit...Like potatoes. :meditate:
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Re: The Guru

Postby Andrea » Wed Jul 21, 2010 10:10 pm

Ooh that makes sense. Where does one find a parent plant?
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